Unapologetically Me!

Before I continue with the post, I may have to clarify a few things:

1. No, I did not have any complicated relationship with my hair. In fact, I loved my hair, and the short hair has always complimented my face.

2. No, I am not dealing with any chronic illness.

3. No, I am not depressed.

4. No, I am not fighting against any nonsensical establishments of controlling women.

5. No, I am not imitating anyone.

Having laid down the definite answers, I now resume to my actual post.

 

Okay, this not a post of me being a rebellious woman nor is there any coming out of the closet. It's just my new haircut.

I have been meaning to shave my head or get a buzz cut for quite some time now, and the lockdown provided a perfect opportunity for that! Trust me, there was a lot going in my head when it came to completely shaving my head, but then to own up such a step needs some rationalisation. I have often seen my brother reaching for the clippers whenever his hair grows and begins to irritate him. He just shaves his head and walks about just like that. With me, I had no intentions of shaving my head (at least not now) but those of you who have a hair-length that needs to be tended to very often will know my struggles. It's about eight years now since I cut my hair short, short as in a length that comes up to my neck and the remaining part of the hair is cut layer-wise. Now, if it grows half-an-inch longer, I need to head to the saloon or I may have to put up with it. But I have always loved the way my hair looks. Many of you also know the increase in the prices for haircut, yep, I pay a lot and so, I get a haircut like once in two/three months. I honestly think that me being broke and unable to spend on my regular haircut is one of the reasons for the big chop!

Well, that's the end of the beginning. I just randomly spoke to my mother about it and she too was a little apprehensive about this. One good thing about her is that over these years, she has grown so much that she doesn't take things at its face value, instead rationalises to herself. Keeping all her beliefs and opinions aside, she simply agreed to it. I really don't know what she was thinking. Nevertheless, I borrowed my brother's clippers and did the big chop!

I now have a 'lockdown buzzcut', apparently that's a trending hashtag! I like the way I look, completely raw and unedited. I have nothing to hide behind. Also, all those take on experiencing empowerment or feeling liberated did not really happen here. May be because I perceive these huge words through my action of teaching and drawing. A buzzcut is simply another haircut, that's how I see it.

I was a little saddened when a dear friend of mine said that I looked like a monkey and that the entire endeavour was a meaningless act, and that I could have done better things. Perhaps this was all told in jest, but I personally don't stand by it. If someone tells me that they are going to experiment with their hair, my most immediate and sincere response would be, "Great, would love to see the new hairdo!" I realised that progressive thinkers are not really that progressive... I mean, if you think you are a progressive thinker and spend a lot of time in thinking whether a woman should go bald or not, it's about time you change your mindset.

I like the way I look. I am getting used to my look. It's not all positives though, sometimes my head and ears feel cold, and I put up my hoodie. Also, I haven't posted my new picture anywhere on social media simply because I have nothing to prove to the world nor to myself. Just like different haircuts, buzzcut is one of them. Please don't insult me by saying that it was a bold/brave move and that you would have done if you had that courage... Again, it's just a haircut!

If you have this in your bucket list or even want to try, lockdown is the perfect time, go ahead! And if it turns out to be a big mistake, well, in much matured words of my mother, "It's just hair, it'll grow back.."